Make 2014 The Year of the Caregiver

“Put the oxygen mask on first,” is the call we hear from the flight attendants every time a pilot prepares for take off. You have to take care of yourself, before you can take care of others.  Before I tell you how I want you to know I also hear…

It’s different for me because

I hear a chorus of voices as if we were gathered around my kitchen table. 

• “I know I should.”
• “I don’t have the time.” 
• “There’s no one to help.” 

The fact are if you are a caregiver your health is at risk and now is the time to take charge of your well being.  In a study by the National Alliance for Caregiving, 53% of caregivers  said their health had gotten worse due to caregiving.  Another study found elderly people who felt stressed while taking care of their disabled spouses were 63% more likely to die within 4 years than caregivers who were not feeling stressed.

Clearly now is the time to begin the practice of self-care and the first step is to manage your stress

2014 Caregivers Action Plan To Manage Stress

1. Banish the words should, would, and could from your internal thoughts and your conversation. For many, these words are often connected with feelings of guilt, self recrimination, and blame.  Research shows, what you say to yourself affects your attitudes, habits, and health. The next time the words should, would, and could form in your thoughts...Take a deep breath in and ask yourself  “What do I really want say?” “What am I really feeling?” As you exhale take advice from the Poet Maya Angelou, “You did what you knew how to do, and when you knew better, you did better."
2. Practice better mental and physical health habits. I use the word practice to encourage you to look at each habit as a way to learn and improve self-care habits to handle life’s events and prepare for the future. The easiest and most inexpensive practice is to begin walking. Walk with a mindful attitude and focus your thoughts on your breathing. No talking, no planning, no replaying of a past conversation. Walk and focus on your breathing. Simply keep your thoughts on breathing in and out. Start your mindful walking practice with five minutes once a day. Increase the time of your walk slowly with the knowledge your practice is building the foundation for self-care.
3. Begin Again know that none of us were born with all the answers, skills, and wisdom needed to live a happy and healthy life. Each of us learns through experience and the wise learn from the experience of others. Self-care is the art of treating ourselves with the same kindness, love, and understanding we give those we care for.

2014 The Year of the Caregiver is my hope for you as we start the New Year together.

Judi Bonilla is a Gerontologist and ED of We Get Around! a nonprofit organization working to promote the use of public transportation for adults approaching driving retirement. 

Follow Judi Bonilla on Twitter: @JudiBonilla